I love that the end of the calendar year invites us to look back over what’s happened and look forward to what we’d like to create, especially now as a business owner.
In theory, one year intervals are great – except that I’ve come to realize that calendar years are not always the right way for me to segment time. Maybe, time isn’t even the best way to evaluate stages… People, life, and growth is just not that linear.
Which is why this year’s review of All the Color covers its entire existence since it began March 2020, while last year’s review was focused on 2022, my first year as a full time entrepreneur.
Undertaking a beloved project
The root word of entrepreneur comes from the French word entreprendre, which means to undertake a project. The undertaking of the project of All the Colors has gone through many stages as outlined in the graphic below – especially as it relates to my dream of flexibility with when and where I work.
The first 18 months of full time entrepreneurship I worked myself ragged in the vision of my entrepreneurial mother and grandmother before me. All the Colors was my newborn and I was fully dedicated to watching its every breath. I literally remember the first few weeks waking up at 3am inspired and working on my website till daybreak, going to bed for a few hours, and then going to work at my day job. I was possessed by the muse and a full on workaholic.
It all came to a head on June 9th, 2023 at a coffee shop in Barranca, a gorgeous hipster neighborhood in Lima, Peru. I realized three things:
I was not going to load the photo into the self guided course I was creating.
I was not going to meet my self-imposed deadline.
I was not going to stop myself from desperately bawling with frustration and fear that I could not make All the Colors work the way I wanted it to.
I burned out.
I broke and in the breaking, I saw that I was brokenness itself;
the brokenness we all are and that thus there was nothing to break.
I let everything be possible, including rest.
Some time later a prayer came to me: Spaciousness and Impact.
To prevent burnout and change how I followed my calling I needed more space and I wanted more impact, or maybe All the Colors itself was feeling strangled by me, and my deadlines, and my ego.
All the Colors has given me so much, has shared much with others and is endlessly fruitful. I realized that when I am in in my purpose as a money coach and guide, All the Colors is strengthened because it is a conduit and NOT something to be mined and extracted from. All the Colors is a conduit of empowerment.
Lessons Learned and Gratitudes
One of the best parts of looking back is seeing who has been with you on the journey and what has been transformed in you. As I go into my third year a full time entrepreneur I’ve learned a lot and have relaxed into this pace of work.
There is always more to do, all of the decisions rest on me, and if I’m feeling burned out, the only person responsible is me.
I’ve also learned that I can relax, and that clients come to me on their own time.
I’ve learned how to work on large ongoing projects as a solopreneur.
Most importantly, I’ve learned that I do have access to Spaciousness and Impact.
I ended 2022 wondering whether I should stay in this field, whether my dreams of group coaching and helping people ease suffering around money were attainable. I truly appreciate the people who helped me stay on this journey:
My business coaches: Akeisha Johnson, Thérèse Cator
My financial planning mentors: Lisa Kirchenbauer, Gayle Coleman, Stephen Brody
My Quaker Spiritual Accountability Group: Pamela Haines, Francis Elling, O, Ingrid Lakey
My communities that keep me grounded in hope: Wisdom & Money, RadPlanners, SER Latino Financial Advisors
My parents who kept telling me horror stories of how many years it took for their own businesses to start thriving as a way to let me know that patience is key.
Thank you to each of you who have joined this newsletter and follow this work as it continues to evolve.
I am thrilled to be going into my third year as a full time entrepreneur now enjoying what really brought me on this path: a desire for time and geographic flexibility while easing suffering around money.
