Does the idea of financial freedom and intuitive spending sound familiar to you? Have you been told to create a strict budget and stick to it in order to take control of your finances? If you’re feeling frustrated and restricted by this approach, you’re not alone. It’s time to explore a more intuitive and balanced way of managing your money.
I’ve lately been trying to spend more on kind of day to day pleasures, like going out to shows, going out to restaurants, getting gifts from my things that I would feel guilty about when I was trying to be frugal. But actually talking to you, giving me some percentages around how I might want to spend my money, it kind of gave me the permission to enjoy those things.
Mike Ciul
My special guest is Mike Ciul
Drawing from his personal encounters with anxiety and sensitivity, Mike has a deep understanding of the intricate dynamics between emotional well-being and monetary decisions. Mike is a computer programmer for money and a musician for love.You can find him on YouTube and on Bandcamp at capmikee.bandcamp.com. A genderqueer anarchist dad of 3 young adults, Mike lives in Philadelphia. Recovering from abusive relationships, Mike challenges himself to overcome social anxiety and build community, because even though isolation is kind of fun, it’s really hard to make a difference on your own.
This is Mike’s story:
Mike’s journey of self-discovery and financial awareness is a compelling blend of introspection and personal growth. His serendipitous encounter with the concept of monotropism through a random YouTube video opened new doors of understanding. With reflections on his upbringing, influenced by his father’s carefree spending and his mother’s frugality, Mike’s journey delves into the profound impact of childhood experiences on adult behaviors.
Overcoming initial anxieties about spending, he has gradually embraced intentional budgeting for his passions, such as making music and investing in experiences with his kids. His evolving mindset reflects a newfound balance between financial responsibility and enjoying the present, marking a significant step towards holistic well-being. Mike’s story serves as a poignant reminder that embracing our unique traits and experiences can lead to improved money management and a more enriching financial lifestyle.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover how to achieve financial freedom through intuitive spending.
- Learn the challenges and rewards of pursuing passion while managing money.
- Find out how to strike a balance in giving and maintain a balanced financial lifestyle.
- Learn about how to overcome past codependent money tendencies.
- Gain insights into managing money as a highly sensitive individual.
Striking Balance: Saving vs. Enjoying Life
Finding balance in managing finances is the key to achieving monetary happiness. It involves giving oneself permission to indulge in life’s pleasures guiltlessly, while also ensuring one is securing financial future with disciplined saving. This balance is not a one-size-fits-all proposition, but a dynamic adjustment that caters to individual needs, goals and lifestyle preferences.
During the conversation, Diana stressed this concept of financial balance. She mentioned how one should adapt their spending habits to feel secure and safe. For her, striking this balance leads to greater confidence in earning abilities and transforms the overall outlook on personal finances. On the other hand, Mike revealed his ongoing struggle to find this balance while dealing with his scarcity mindset, further underscoring just how personal and dynamic this endeavor of balancing savings and enjoyment truly is.
The Personal Nature of Money
We all carry a personal relationship with money that’s steeped in our past experiences, societal conditioning and inherent values. Much like our relationship with food, our attitudes towards money are often complicated and ridden with emotional weight. The ways we spend, save, invest or donate are not only reflective of our financial habits, but also indicative of our beliefs, fears and aspirations. It’s this deep-rooted connection that tends to make altering financial behaviors challenging.
In essence, understanding our unique relationship with money is crucial to fostering better financial habits and gaining control over our finances. In the podcast, Mike Ciul explores this very aspect. He uses the analogy of music to express his thoughts about money. After his divorce, Mike felt out of control with his finances and wanted a minimalistic lifestyle where he had nothing to lose. However, he soon realized his love for music and began investing in musical instruments. These purchases brought him fulfillment and immense pleasure, thereby transforming his previous perception of money.
Navigating Financial Dynamics in Relationships
Maintaining financial harmony in personal relationships can be tricky due to the diverse ways people approach money. Shared finances require great clarity, open communication and mutual respect for each other’s financial perspectives. Discerning when to merge finances, how to split expenses, or set common financial goals, should ideally be a joint decision that takes into account the comfort and expectations of both parties.
During the podcast, Diana Yañez shares her own experiences with money matters in relationships. She talks about the complexities of being the breadwinner in her relationship and the resentment she felt when her partner increased his spending once Diana started earning more. This emphasizes the variations in monetary perspectives and the need for clear communication when it comes to navigational financial dynamics within relationships.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Mike’s “Every Day is Halloween” music video
- Mike’s bandcamp page
- Mike’s pop songs
- Philosophy Tube on Effective Altruism
- “Your Money or Your Life” by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez – Check out this book for valuable insights on achieving financial independence and redefining your relationship with money.
- “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko – Explore this book to learn about the frugal living habits of millionaires and gain practical tips for financial success.
- Intuitive Eating – Discover the intuitive eating movement to develop a healthier and more balanced relationship with food, focusing on mindful eating and body positivity.
- “The Dawn of Everything” by David Graeber and David Wengrow – Dive into this book to explore a thought-provoking perspective on human history and societal structures, offering a fresh take on progress and modernity.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:01 – Introduction to Highly Sensitive Money Podcast
Diana introduces the podcast and guest Mike C, discussing the concept of being highly sensitive and its connection to money and social justice.
00:01:16 – Benefits of being Highly Sensitive
Diana and Mike discuss the positive aspects of being highly sensitive, including the ability to make connections and see the impact of money decisions.
00:04:30 – Money Upbringing and Spending Habits
Mike shares his experiences of financial anxieties and balancing stinginess with occasional impulsive spending, influenced by contrasting perspectives of money from his parents.
00:10:42 – Self-Care and Social Justice
The conversation delves into the importance of self-care and not contributing to the world’s problems, while also discussing the interconnectedness of individuals and the concept of empathy versus enmeshment.
00:14:32 – Acceptance and Contribution
The discussion explores the balance between self-care and contributing to the world, emphasizing the necessity of acceptance as the first step towards making positive changes.
00:15:38 – Finding Balance and Codependency
Mike discusses his journey of finding balance and overcoming codependency by reevaluating his approach to giving and being of use to others.
00:16:59 – Introduction to Effective Altruism
Diana introduces the concept of effective altruism and its focus on making the world a better place through career choices and philanthropy.
00:22:47 – Utilitarian Philosophy and Moral Progress
Mike shares his discomfort with the utilitarian philosophy and the concept of moral progress, highlighting the privileged perspective and lack of consideration for immediate human suffering.
00:27:45 – Money and Charitable Giving
The discussion explores the impact of effective altruism on personal finances and charitable giving, leading to reflections on individual choices and societal change.
00:31:15 – Anarchism and Climate Change
Mike delves into how fatherhood has influenced his perspective on climate change and societal change, leading to a deeper commitment to anarchism and challenging the existing system.
00:32:11 – Introduction to Anarchism and Authority
Mike shares his initial perspective on anarchism and authority, discussing his anti-authoritarian stance and skepticism towards the role of authority in society.
00:34:03 – Police and Anarchism
Mike delves into the role of police in society, highlighting their historical origins and their focus on protecting property, leading to a discussion on expanding personhood and progress.
00:35:49 – Historical Perspectives on Human Organization
The conversation explores the book “The Dawn of Everything” and the idea that human organization is shaped by historical context, emphasizing the potential for different ways of organizing society.
00:39:35 – Non-Modern Thinking and Mystical Perspective
Mike and Diana discuss non-modern thinking, the interconnectedness of history, and the acceptance of unresolved complexities, reflecting on the mystical nature of navigating societal dynamics.
00:44:55 – Balancing Music and Money
Mike shares his passion for music and the challenge of balancing it with his career, expressing his desire to play music for others and the impact of busking on his perspective on monetary appreciation and sharing.
00:49:23 – Filmmaking on a phone and financial control
Mike discusses the amazing process of creating a movie on a phone and reflects on feeling out of control financially after his divorce.
00:51:13 – Collecting musical instruments and financial freedom
Mike shares his shift from wanting nothing to owning musical instruments and feeling financially liberated. He also discusses his past experience of feeling constrained by financial control in a relationship.
00:53:31 – Financial independence and quality of life
The conversation delves into the concept of financial independence and retiring early. Mike expresses his desire to achieve financial freedom and improve his quality of life.
00:54:55 – Intuitive money management and frugal living
The discussion shifts to the idea of intuitive money management and the struggle to feel financially secure. Mike also shares his thoughts on frugal living and the desire to find ways to save more money.
00:59:20 – Finding balance and permission to enjoy
Mike reflects on finding a balance in spending and feeling safe financially. He expresses gratitude for gaining permission to enjoy day-to-day pleasures and adjust his perspective on money.