I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Sarah Newcomb, behavioral economist at Morningstar, a few weeks ago. She gives easy to understand explanations of behavioral money guidelines backed by research. This is exactly what you need once you’ve decided it’s time to revamp your money – firm ground to stand on. Today’s article is an overview of some of her research and an invitation to incorporate these suggestions into your own money life.
Dr. Newcomb starts her interview with Brendan Frazier on The Human Side of Money saying the goal is to “live a life with money that you want to keep going.” By starting from this question Dr. Newcomb invites you to evaluate your life with money. The fact you’re here reading this points to your belief in the possibility of an easier, more fulfilling way to use, spend, give, save, and invest money.
First, consider the logistics, the nuts and bolts of your money:
- Are you okay to keep doing what you’re doing to earn money?
- Do you feel comfortable when you think of how you spend, save, and give?
- Are your investments aligned with the world you want to create?
- Are you comfortable with the investment return and the ups and downs of the market?
- Do you feel confident with how you and your loved ones are covered in case of emergencies? Think emergency fund, insurance, and how your assets (home, accounts, etc) would be passed down if you were to pass away today.
What about your money behaviors, thoughts, and emotions?
- Does looking at the logistics outlined above give you a sense of expansion and settledness? Dare I say, even satisfaction?
- What images, stories, memories, body sensations, etc come up for you when considering whether you can keep living your current money life?
This second question is a powerful one to spend time with. Root your feet down and be open to what comes up. You may want to journal this or say it out loud to give it some air. Without a practice of getting these thoughts and stories out, they’ll just keep going round and round in your head.
The Power of Story
Dr. Newcomb’s article How stories Drive Financial Behavior – and What to Do About It was one of the most powerful of the many she’s written. She asks: are you the victim or hero when you consider money?
- What formed your money beliefs since childhood?
- What major events have happened in your money life?
- When you’ve had hard financial times, how have you “bounced back”?
Take a look back at key moments in your money history with compassion, with a feeling of curiosity. Even as judgements come up of good and bad, fair and random, stay in touch with the ground under your feet.
Feel the strength of these stories, feelings, images, vibes, and if you’re like any of the people I’ve worked with – remember to breathe! There is no tornado coming, you are safely on this planet, sense the air and the weight of your clothes on your skin. That was then, this is now.
Look at the past with the tools of an archeologist and finely comb dust away from these stories and beliefs such as:
- I worked hard to get here and will not give anyone handouts.
- Only by trying can you see what’s possible.
- The haves will always screw everyone else and the best we can do is squirrel away money for ourselves.
- I know this next opportunity will really move us up to the life we deserve.
- Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
- There’s always enough. I have what it takes to move forward.
How did these thoughts land on you? Can you spot which positioned you as the hero with agency over your life and which left you feeling tight and scared?
I invite you to take Dr. Newcomb’s three questions above to your journal and using compassion and curiosity sift through them. Even the most toxic and disempowering thoughts have a kernel of nourishment – they voice a need. When it comes to money, ying and yang is a better sign than a symbol of currency. In everything “bad” there is a hidden element of good, just like what we think is “good” can have a negative impact.
Viva la Vida! and integration
Anyone who’s visited Frida Kahlo’s Casa Azul in Mexico City has seen her last painting a few days before her death – an image of a watermelon with “Viva la Vida” written on it. Here she was, at the end of a very physically and emotionally difficult life saying “long live life”. If there has ever been a rallying cry of defiance, I think that statement would be it.
No matter what your money life looks like today, know it is possible for it to change. Think of the big money changes that have happened in just the past 100 years, if the country can change, so can we. For example, Social Security and Medicare were created less than a hundred years ago. As a woman, I’ve had the right to vote for just a little longer.
While in at the Casa Azul I learned more about Frida Kahlo, especially how lack of money and her status woman limited her life choices. Despite the difficulties she went through, I would not consider her story one of victimhood – she used her agency to the best of her ability.
Dr. Newcomb’s recommendation to live a money life you want to keep going, asks us to sift through our money stories. We must hold the possibility that we can move from disempowered victim to an integrated adult with agency. Curiosity and compassion will be key, maybe also a visit to a kickboxing class to get the anger out of your body or a comedy show to stay in touch with playfulness and creativity.
The point is to both acknowledge the truth of today’s limitations along with the fertility of a bigger world.
You might be surprised to inquire into your money stories and see how little they have to do with money. The most harmful ones often speak to a sense of worthlessness, of survival, and of injustice. This can be really tough work to do alone, which is why I created Bosque Money Community Coaching.
My recommendation is to do this work of money inquiry and to share your insight with someone you trust, with someone who’s way of being with money fills you with hope and possibility, someone who helps you find firm ground to stand on.
Did you find this post helpful? Sign up for my newsletter to stay in touch or learn about my 6-month community coaching program, Bosque Money.