Let’s say you’ve decided that working alone to figure out money is not working. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, and even opened a paper money account to learn options (true story…), but you’re still feeling stressed out about money. You’re done “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” and ready to get empowered.
What’s the next step? How do you decide whether to join a community group coaching program like Bosque Money or work with a money guide one-on-one to get your money in order? There’s a few things to consider for each type of support to decide which method is best for you.
What is easier in a community program?
You’ll practice compassion for others and see how it grows for yourself. By delving into money in a community you practice compassion for someone else and can then extend it to yourself. Also, because other’s problems don’t affect you personally, you can practice listening to money conversations neutrally (aka non-judgement). That’s a huge shift and with time you will start doing this with people who are close to you and eventually with yourself.
You’ll learn new ways of looking at issues because we all have our own take on money. There are always many ways to look at a situation, but it can be easy to get stuck with a certain approach. By joining a community and understanding the many ways of being with money you gain access to creativity. You get to tap into your sense of possibility and self-agency, no matter what the current situation looks like. You’ll also get to learn from other’s experiences and will likely learn of questions you’d never considered. Open money conversations are life changing in a society where talking about money is still a huge taboo.
You’ll feel supported and engaged, even when you’re tired. We all know that our energy comes and goes, especially when dealing with stressful and/or confusing subjects. You can come into a community session as you are and trust that the energy of the community will help you stay focused and engaged during the session. It’s not just you and a spreadsheet, but a circle of peers building each other up and reflecting back shared truths and shared questions. Being accountable with others is much easier than doing it on your own.
You have a sense of belonging. As Brené Brown, vulnerability researcher, has explained, shame is the fear of being thrown out of the community. When you join a community with a clear purpose, confidentiality, and mutual respect you can share things with others you may not even have shared with yourself.
What is easier one-on-one?
Getting an individualized step-by-step walk through of your finances. Because you’re working one-on-one with a money guide the conversations can be more concrete and task oriented. Often, your money guide will help you stay on topic until a decision is made. You can also delegate tasks to your money guide, something you can’t do with a community facilitator.
For some people, it’s easier to share their whole story vulnerably just with one qualified professional. Not all of us want to open our hearts to a community and that is a very valid reason to go for one-on-one support. To set ourselves up for success we need to recognize what does and does not work with our own truth and our own way of being.
Sessions can be tailor made to your own needs. With one-on-one money guides the best ones will meet you where you’re at AND they’ll also walk you through a full overview what needs to be considered. Specifically with CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ practitioners like myself, we are required to cover seven key financial areas.
Which one is more likely to create change and growth leading to transformation?
Both can do it. You get to decide which calls to you more, which type will best serve who you are and where you’re at. I’ve been in both types of situations and currently am supported in both ways.
For example, I am enrolled in Compassionate Inquiry training to become a better facilitator and eventually a mindfulness teacher. This teaching is done in a group setting so that we can digest and explore the concepts together. It is very relational work and we’re literally practicing this methodology with each other. An interesting requirement of the program is that participants need to meet at least monthly with an individual therapist because this work is quite deep emotionally and spiritually.
One-on-one support can help you stay on a subject until there’s a breakthrough. While this is very helpful, I prefer more subtle realization to laser focus. I’ve experienced a power dynamic many times where I want to tell the coach/therapist/banker/whoever what I think they want to hear just to get my gold star and move on.
This impulse does not happen as much for me in community settings where I’m comfortable blending into the community energy. Groups are more relaxing for me because I don’t have the obligation to answer every question. Yet, I would not give my one-on-one therapy sessions up for the world. It’s incredibly helpful to have a guide who knows where you hide and can call you out on it in an empowering way to help you stay on task.
As you can guess, I have a penchant for community programs. I even have a preference for foods that are meant to be eaten in community (pizza, nachos, hot-pot, the Indian food on this blog’s photo, etc).
My invitation is to consider what works better for you. You might find that having a bit of both is the ideal for you too.
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